Silence has come over here, it is midnight and I just stay quiet in the silence. I have decided to start over so I am doing it, just alone I guess for now, it does not matter dear, you know me well now, and you know that if I want to I can own the world just with my heart power. This is just my very little gift that I sometimes claim and am proud of.
I have to say friend, yes, silence burns and so the cold, but I am yet full of this feeling that I have been searching for in someone else than me, when I have thought the most that is there I am notified later that is not. Is just the simply irony when is just dropped in the face and you are alone, like an inevitable consequence of the action or the word, so you lay, simply there, full of silence, full of irony, speechless and alone.
So I have come, again, ready to begin but do not exactly know where is the bus to take me where I want to go, it is ok, I will keep walking, searching for, whatever may lay on the road. Fifi is sleeping dear, I know I do not talk much about her, she is my little but big precious, she is my ring of power, I smile whenever she does and cry whenever she cries, but also I am there all the time, to support every little step she takes, it is just priceless friend, it is just like I have forgotten the silence and the cold, when I see her and see her eyes full of grace, bright, happiness and love, and if just for one second I could trade myself for her, I would do it, I really love her dear, I pray every day so she can be always protected on this hell. I know my pockets are empty so then here is when I have to exchange myself, this is all I have. Dear, do you understand? I think is called: real love.
So now you know that this is burning love what I am feeling. Yes dear, it kills, that is exactly the sense. I do not expect anything than just the murder wait I have to take every day to go home and kiss her, hug her and enjoy all her magic in the bonfire warming my soul.
I have taken my soul apart to have said what I have said, opened the big stone doors, besides the witch, here is a mother that loves, I have this part dear, the passion drowning in my veins, like a murder pain, but is even more than pain, just because is passion, means like the world. So when you feel it, it definitely tells you that you are alive willing to love the little things and, the big wall just goes away. This is what we are made off...
Dear, stay quiet, someone may be listening and if they find me, they will kill me here, I know friend, I live in this conspiracy trying to find flowers and ants, trying to talk to the moon, to lay on the sand but there is no man because I am just alone, it is ok dear, I have come to love this silence in agony, yes dear, I am so small, there is nothing more, I am just a sinner, I have talked about this before, my eyes are trying to get wet, but guess! I am only here you are there, there is a whole giant disaster between our ways, I am hunting dreams so I can build again my fantasy. Maybe and just maybe I can start building my Pluto here, what would be an irony and mostly impossible, but hey, my shire I have built, why not to bring little Pluto here? Impossible is nothing, you know and I smile. Smile for me!
Silence burns dear, it comes cold to my bones, wrapping this vanity, heroes in the mouth, since these words are my only heroes, and this sense of power in my skin makes me want to believe that I am just the only one of my kind, but hey! I cannot lie to myself, no matter who I am, I am just another person in this hell, I can feel the water I can feel the fire, I am a mortal in this earth.
So dear, I just beg you, please stay quiet, I come here with every letter telling you my secrets of power, I have given you my all, is the dark way to say it, but you know me now, not only by words but by the nude heart that talks to you alone in the night, alone in the mornings, in each letter on every single word, I tell you and give you my deepest soul, so you might have already felt me in this cold.
So friend, here it goes, I hope to say one other day again: this must be love, besides my Fifi love way, but if I do not, then I will have Castian or you just to let it go, let this passion and craziness go.
Tell me friend, have you ever felt love? Has been love what you have been searching for? Is it love? All for what you have dreamed for? Then it is here, it has come, the feeling, the need, the deep conspiracy, it is named Love.
Maybe and just maybe, someday we will love other than ourselves, other than Fifi, other than the mirror…and we will be just feeling quiet, dreaming power, in the silence, simply finding, just love.
I whisper you here: Good luck.
Coconut-skin, Fifi in-love mode here.