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domingo, 28 de noviembre de 2010

Carta a un EXTRAÑO XIX (en inglés y español)

My Dear:

Days go by with smiles and tears. I have started to begin, yes; I see it now a little more clearly. I have no idea of this consequently agony, it is just weird, I wish I could explain but words are no needed here, broken sunset in the dark night, the moon will kill the lie. Do not ask me why, I do not know the reason just accept this poison, dragging me into my insane hell.

I may sound too gothic at this point, again, I wish I can have a reason or a cause, the sense that was lost has been found but, like I used to say "full of buts" in my thoughts again, then but, no matter what, sense has been found, loneliness is not gone, I feel the love and the pain at the same time intense and they kill a lot.

So nobody cares, so nobody is really there, where you find yourself in the middle of the road thinking: “Where am I supposed to go?” I still belong to the place that has no names and is freaking cold, where Mrs. Irony comes and goes, looks for me in the dark misery of the human thought and, of course, in the cursed agony of my burning soul.

Dear stranger that became my soul mate, I do not understand how you came to me and my letters, how one day I was in the Upper East Side with Nate and Juliet, B and S were in France, then Juliet said "Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger", so right after that I wrote you my first letter. Days went by, I thought you were invisible, I thought you were not real, though I started to believe inside of me at some points that you did exist so then I thought: "If he does exist or not, how the hell will I ever know? Am I writing to someone or he is only in my head and thoughts?" Cruel questions I had on my own, wanted to tempt you later in my letters, I told you several big secrets, you helped me out to let them go, I stood up right after every fall, you were always my stronger support, then you became so closed to me so I wanted to believe you were not only in my thoughts, I felt you and I did not want to let you go... My stranger then after a few months, until a day that I see you come like ever I could imagine, like ever I could thought, you have a name you replied to my calls, I could not believe it but is called fate and even more.

So I remembered I said "stranger no longer stranger", after I met you realized you are still my stranger with a different meaning of the word. You were so far away but at the same time so close, is not irony again killing us? But this just made us know that we are stronger than we ever thought.

So my friend, my lover friend, my soul mate in this game, I saw your eyes, yes! You do have a name, yes! You are not a moon ray, you were always there then came here today I have no longer words that I can say.

So I remembered a friend when he said: "Love does not come when you want it to come, it comes when you really need it" I did not believe that was true, then I smiled because I was wrong.

Tell me dear, is not life all this that makes it worth it for?

Even though I know you and I do not, even though the reason has killed the cause, even though the silence has been filled with love and even though I have you and I do not, at least I know today that you are real that you are not only in my thoughts.

Thank you stranger! For now I thank you a lot.

Coconut-skin, stranger mood in here.

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