Air is coming to my ear, like a cold whisper in the middle of this morning, cold morning in here. I have thought, for a long time, that I needed a hero in my life, despite whatever my girly soul could pretend I found out today that I am my own hero, I can kiss away the pain, I will stand by myself forever, I can take my own breath away...Because, my friend, I am on my own, this is my own hell again.
I can swear that I will always be mine, I can see his image in my mind, far away in the distance of the heart... stubborn minds we are, selfish and more, drinking our own happiness just because there are things we rather not to face. My dear, cold is on my fingers here, I can see the deep ocean at the bottom of this horizon, have no words to explain again, but can feel it deep inside of my soul's hell, like a bonfire in the middle of the night, I know, we are the only guilty ones of our own obstacles, yes dear, I have built the wall again, it is stronger than even myself, can you believe it?
I have this peace smile on my face today. I say this with peace, peace in the air, like I wanted so much to be in this spot, to feel this way again. Maybe I still do not understand what the normal thing is, the way that should be and should stay, dear, life is so sweet misery that I enjoy every second of my day, I know I attacked Mr. G yesterday, I had to tell certain things about this game, but game is now over, at least for now until it comes the version II and maybe and just maybe, game will start again, if that ever comes, I remember little Prince here when he said: Just because you never know!
What about the Samantha’s phrase "I love you but I love ME more"? Sometimes is the dark heart wishing just to love someone since is not enough loving himself, right? The heart then escapes hurt by doubts, running in the shadows, hiding in the forest, rain forest of the human soul... Is this power killing? It is slow, but death will come. Dear, I sometimes have the wisdom to look deeply where the truth lays naked, I can barely see it and then it disappears in melodies, like I never saw it and just like never existed. So hard to be just here and been so unable to do a thing.
Dear, whatever friend, is the game forever and ever the same? Like the power? I said yesterday that irony was the biggest power, then someone that I never expected took me out of my mistake, is not irony, it is love, irony comes with life, but love comes by himself, all dressed, with the skirt (yes that skirt) with the coconut smell, and wet skin and sweat, just like an amazing seductive irony, but even worst since it burns you all, leave you without nothing, like the empty hands but dirty, there is no way or ever will be, to say "I regret, I need to go back this time, my friend" because then there irony comes to you and say: "Game is over boy or girl, there is no way, no way back chance"... you can either cry or laugh, that will not change your hell.
So it goes and comes over and over again, just with different face. Like I have always known I break the rules, so rebellious essence I owe, full of passion, passion in the blood, veins full of beauty magic to create and destroy, then I look myself in the mirror, so I say: "my eyes are getting wet, my lips are red" I try to say -Dude is over-, but then silence comes over, irony smacks my face, my eyes are the ocean far away, there is love but I hide it from the others sense, I bite my lip, I want to end this misery but God, that is watching me, knows that my soul is the bonfire magic that I should drown in this lands like tragic verse, because I own this words and this essence, I owe to my whatever friend the killing kind person I am, someone had to discover me in this pain, but even if here is pain, I will walk away, it will just be me and my game, my shire, my hills, my makeup, my fire... all this that I just write in here. But then is when I know I should stay quiet, friend, I know is contradiction and irony, but is the penalty for have left my Pluto's shire...
So whoever may be reading, you are my friend and sibling, just take my hand, stay quiet, we will hide in here, in our new shire.
Dear, I have lost my mind in here, but my smile is like when you find logic and reality, weird feeling I feed, but this craziness will be just my daily melody.
I will survive, and then you will see.
Will leave for now, take care dear.
Coconut-skin, fiend here.